i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
