Rock
Scissors
Fuck
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
