My hand turned me down
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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