It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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