She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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