Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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