Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just found puke in my bra..
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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