5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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