he thought i was a dude.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
