you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
