you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
