Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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