Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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