I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
