I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
