I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
