Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
