She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
