Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
