How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
