Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
