Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
