So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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