Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You need a sexual gate keeper
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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