she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
