He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize