Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
