Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
