dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
