Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
