windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
