winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
