Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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