Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
