I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
