I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
