please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
