i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
