Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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