i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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