Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
