just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
