why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Is it because I queefed?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
