I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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