No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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