They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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