He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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