did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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