Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
