I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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