but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
