I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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