Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
there is puke in my bra ... again
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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