Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
