I want to walk on stilts...naked
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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