you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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