Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
