Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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