I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
