turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
