If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
